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Posted: 03/14/2017 Posted by:

When Parents of Adult Children Remarry

Categories: Uncategorized

Apart from the romantic and familial difficulties, remarrying once your children are adults can create some legal and logistical issues. Marrying is never something that should be taken lightly from a legal aspect; even though you may think you have your ducks in order financially, you may be surprised at some of the consequences. Here are a few things that you might want to consider.

Marriage Later In Life Often Involves More Assets

When starry-eyed 20 year olds marry for the first time, they generally don’t have very much of value. When individuals marry later in life, on the other hand, there are retirement accounts and investment properties to take into consideration. For that reason, if nothing else, prenuptial agreements become even more important with late term marriages. It isn’t about a lack of trust or romance; it’s about protecting one’s assets from the legal process. There’s no reason to involve assets gained prior to the marriage in a dispute later on.

Dealing With a Remarriage the Healthy Way

When it comes to adults who want to have a good relationship with their significant other, there are a few factors that seem to be in common:

  • Not involving the children until strictly necessary. A parent is entitled to have their own social lives without the interference of their children. Too often, parents feel they need to share everything with their children in order to be “good parents.” But they deserve to have their own social lives too.
  • Putting the foot down too early. A soft touch can often be preferred to a harder stance. Rather than saying “this person is going to be a part of your lives; deal with it,” it can be easier to introduce the situation softly. Though children may be adults, they are still a person’s children: they are looking out for them and they may also fear losing time with their parent.
  • Deal with monetary issues transparently. A new spouse often means that children are not going to expect the inheritance that they thought they were. Though this is a messy topic and one that can meet resentment, it still has to be discussed rather than pushed under the carpet.

And The Disputes Aren’t Just Legal

As Dr. Laura notes, many of the issues that occur when the parents of adult children remarry are really down to familial problems. Many adult children aren’t sure how they should interact with this new “parental figure” in their lives, especially if this figure may be closer to their own age then their parents. Romantic entanglements can be uncomfortable for adult children to deal with, but the most important thing is to understand that these types of relationships cannot be forced. Instead, they will need to occur naturally over time.

A marriage is one of the most complicated legal contracts that most of us will experience in our lifetimes. It’s often worth it to get a legal opinion before stepping in, even if it appears to be something that should be “kept in the family.” If you’re going to be getting married soon and wonder about the legal and financial consequences, Covelli Law Offices can help.